Personal Assistant
by WhiteWorms100
Summary: Kelly never wanted to meet Commander Shepard. And now that she finally met her, she wished she never joined Cerberus. Kelly/FemShep. Silly weirdness and OOC warning.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Hello!**

**I'm proud to say this is one of my first fanfics I've written and I'm incredibly happy and equally nervous to publish this.**

**I would like to thank all my friends for pushing me to do this and just say I love you all~**

**WARNING: this fic contains woman/woman romance, some extreme OOCness of few characters including Shepard(though I don't know how that works since he/she's relatively flexible character) and weird creepiness. And it also contains made up(bullshit) medical information regarding psychology. **

**If these are not your cup of tea, I apologize for disappointing you and will ask you to kindly leave.**

**I am not very experienced with writing, so please bear with me if you find things lacking or doesn't flow very well. F****eel free to point out any mistakes or possible improvement that could be made. I do wish to improve and I would love it if people could help me with my vocabs, grammars and all the other things. So please leave a constructive review if you have the time!**

******And please, enjoy the story.**

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**Chapter 1**

"Welcome aboard the Normandy, Commander. I'm Yeoman Kelly Chambers. It is a great honor working with you ma'am."

Kelly Chambers kept her arms firmly at her side, not daring to move. She was afraid the blonde before her might notice the devastating amount of sweat building at her palms, or see how fake the toothy smile on her face was. Maybe she'll notice that slight tremor she just had in her voice, or maybe she'll read her mind and find out how much she just wanted to run away and space herself rather than be there in front of her. Oh god, she was panicking.

The Yeomen had been dreading this day ever since she could remember. This confrontation with the famous Cerberus-hater who was also voted _the deadliest woman alive_ by the extranet society as a whole, had been etching at her sanity for half a year.

At first, when her superior contacted her for the job as the 'Personal assistant' to the deceased Commander Shepard, she laughed at his face. Which was not a very smart move, but she really could not help it. The death of the first human Spectre came as, to put it lightly, a great shock not only to the human race, but to the entire galaxy as a whole. And by that time, the media had gone over it all: the public funerals were done, the news had gone over it a thousand times, documentaries, auto-biography, everything that could have been done to squeeze every penny from a dead celebrity was made and published. It had been a year and a half since Shepard's death and the job opportunity Kelly had been offered seemed like a sad fantasy people were clinging onto in their dreams rather than an actual job.

Then The Illusive Man called her.

_Called_ her.

With a _phone_.

It was obvious then that the 'job offer' she was given was as serious as the human race's offer in joining the Citadel Council, but with one difference between the two: _She_ didn't have a choice.

By the end of her small conversation with The Illusive Man _on her damn phone_ (God, she could _not_ get over that) it became quite clear that this offer was, in fact, an ultimatum. She did have the right to refuse, sure, human rights and what not. But the way he had delivered his speech, the way he paused mid sentence to sip his cigar and puff the smoke out in a single deep sigh, they were all so... menacing. Cerberus wasn't exactly the cleanest corporation in the galaxy, or the most liked. Who knew what would happen to her, or her family for that matter, if she refused? Even now, merely recalling the event made the hair on the back of her neck stand like trees in a forest.

So she accepted: Got a nice raise, moved to a better location of work, otherwise known as 'the Normandy SR-2,' got a longer vacation, and now only worked two days a week until Commander Shepard arrived on board. Why did she hesitate again? _Oh that's right,_ she reminded herself. She was now the Personal Assistant to the galaxy's most notorious _Cerberus killer_ of all time, _on_ a Cerberus vessel.

She was to be the face of the whole company in front of the woman who had sworn to eradicate the said company.

So if she nearly wet her pants just from seeing the Commander enter the CIC, she had felt justified.

The Commander's green eyes bore into her soul like a worm to an apple. A million thoughts popped up and disintegrated in moments. It was as though her nerves were jacked into a power plant. She imagined a lot of things by that point. She imagined Shepard flipping her off, then insulting her until she was a blubbering mess, then walking away laughing. She imagined Shepard exploding in anger and pulling her trademark shotgun from thin air and blasting her face off. She imagined Shepard's head turning into a parasitic alien creature that opens up and chomp off her entire upper body.

Of course what she didn't imagine was for the Commander to pull her into an embrace with a big smile and...

_Oh god, she's licking me!_

_...wait. What?_

"Umm..."

For a moment Kelly suspected she was dreaming. She must have fainted when Shepard suddenly moved to... do whatever she does and now she must be out like a candle light, dreaming of... better things: Like getting licked on the face by her very own fear incarnate.

_Right, NO._

The redhead didn't know if she should sigh in relief or scream her head off in horror. Sure, this was certainly a better alternative for anything _she _had thought of, but it was most certainly confusing, not to mention bizarre even compared to all the crazy stuff she imagined. And if anything it was definitely creepy.

"Oh good, you like her then, Shepard." Miranda said nonchalantly behind Shepard, completely unfazed by the scene before her.

"I'm sorry?" She _likes _her? What does that even mean? _Eww, she's getting all slobbery!_

"Yeah," Shepard said breathlessly, continuing to lick rather... In any other circumstances Kelly would have said _sensually _but right now it was just plain weird. "I like her. A lot."

And that was incredibly disturbing.

The redhead tried in vain to release herself from the Commander's vice like grip. A space suit was less tight than her arms were.

"I guess you want some explanation, Ms Chambers." Miranda said to her and Kelly rolled her eyes. _Oh no, please. I totally understand why a thirty year old woman would suddenly start licking me in the face. It's an everyday occurrence. _"But well done in getting her docile." _Docile?_ "Come, we're going to the med bay."

Utterly confused and weirded out, the Yeoman followed Miranda's order and somehow managed to get herself and Shepard down to the medical wing, thought she had to endure all the whispering as the crew watched her dragging their new Captain who constantly slobbered all over her face. When she finally made it to the Medbay she found Miranda and Doctor Chakwas waiting for her.

"Oh good, you like her then, Shepard." Kelly could not help but gape when she heard Doctor Chakwas, whom she believed to be the sanest person on the entire ship, spoke out in a manner she would when announcing the sun was up.

"Okay, can anyone please tell me what'smmhp- Oh eww! Commander please, not the mouth!"

"Shepard, please stop and sit down." Chakwas ordered firmly as a mother would her child. Without another word (or lick) the blonde woman unlatched herself from the Yeoman and sat down on the chair the Doctor offered.

"Thank you! Now can somebody please tell me why Commander Shepard is acting like..." the redhead pointed at the blonde woman who began spinning around on the chair. "that."

"Kelly, how much do you know about the Lazarus Project?" Chakwas asked, not taking her eyes off of Shepard.

"Well, It's a multi-billion credit budget project that was aimed at specifically making Shepard's body fully functional again, practically bringing her back from the dead. It was supposed to be the miracle of science." Kelly recited the information, wiping as much saliva off her face as possible with her sleeves.

"Yes well, that's not precisely accurate." Miranda replied sharply as if annoyed by the description. "The thing is, Ms Chambers, we're not miracle workers. And Shepard's not exactly Jesus either. When we found Shepard after her death, she was only little more than a large chunk of charred flesh and broken bones."

The brunette paused to watch the Commander spin for a brief moment before shaking her head and continuing.

"The Commander's brain was largely intact. But the unprotected atmospheric re-entry and the prolonged exposure to subzero temperature left it... damaged. The Lazarus Project was quite extensive and we did what we could but the brain is still very much a mystery to the medical world. There is only so much one could do with cybernetics."

"Are you saying the Commander is mentally handicapped?" the Yeoman gasped, adding the pieces together. _What's the point of this mission now if there is no one to lead it?_

"Yes, but not as bad as you may think." Chakwas interjected. "She knows everything she should, all the rules, regulations and what not. She's still a hell of a shot with the gun, and still can use her golden tongue to get her out of trouble any day. She listens to others when she has to, and talks when needed to be heard. It's more like... Okay, imagine, if you will, being incredibly drunk. You don't have any restraints. Your mind is clouded from yourself, making you do things that you wouldn't normally do. Shepard's situation is an extreme case of being drunk minus the loss of control over bodily function. She can't make appropriate judgment at the moment. She has no self restraints. She just goes ahead and does whatever her impulses tell her to do, be it morally bad or good. If she wants to take something, she takes them even if it is stealing. If she wants to fight all of a sudden, she'll punch anyone and anything that she thinks she could fight. If she feels like she wants to lick you, well, I'm sure you had a firsthand experience with that. It's almost child-like you could say."

_Great. So she licked me, not because of some psychosis, but because she wanted to. That's not creepy at all. Nope._

The three simultaneously turned their attention to the blonde who continued to spin around on the chair with an careless smile on her face.

"But how can she go on missions like this?"

"As I've said, she's just reckless right now, not dumb. She is very much capable of doing everything on her own. She can dodge bullets, kill enemies just as well as she would have done so two years ago. I don't think she'll change much in that aspect: She had always followed her instincts in a battle. We do have some drugs that can stimulate her brain to get her stable for a duration of time, but the drug is limited, not to mention the Commander can build immunity to the drug. We have to administer it only when her critical judgment is necessary."

"Okay." Kelly breathed out, taking in all the information. She was starting to understand the situation and why the Commander had suddenly bear hugged her and began licking her. Though it didn't explain why Shepard _wanted _to lick her, but she was willing to let that go for now.

"You can find the drugs in the med bay at all times. And you can find some underneath Shepard's bed just in case she does something that could hurt you or herself while you two sleep together at night." _Wait what?_ "Though I believe a sedative would be better, but you never know. Just ask EDI if you can't find them."

She stared at the two women before her. "Wait, what do you mean: sleep together?"

"Well, like share the same room when you sleep, you know?" Miranda said in a ridiculing tone. "We're not asking you to sleep on the same _bed _Chambers. Unless, of course, you find that it is necessary in order to keep her relaxed."

"No, why would I be sharing room with the Commander at all? I mean, we barely know each other." _And the fact that she licked me doesn't mean anything._

The redhead gave look that said have-you-lost-your-mind at the two women, who in turn, to the Yeoman's confusion, gave the same look back.

Chakwas and Miranda turned to each other for a moment in silence, mute messages passing between them while the sound of Shepard's small giggles filled the room.

Chakwas spoke first, her tone careful as if afraid of approaching the subject. "I'm led to believe you have been briefed of your duty on the Normandy by the Illusive Man himself. Right, Kelly?"

She nodded, not sure where this was going.

"Can you recite them for me?"

An odd question, she thought but nonetheless complied. "I am responsible for regular documentation of the Normandy's overall status and reporting them to Ms Lawson; I am also to observe and make psychic evaluation report regarding the crew and maintain group cohesion using my psychiatric experience; And finally, I am entrusted to sort and flag Shepard's private messages and intels that might affect her in various ways, and also help Commander Shepard in various manners, as her..." . The redhead paused. Then gulped. The truth was suddenly dawning on her. "...as her Personal Assistant."

_Oh crap._

Chakwas and Miranda were both silent for a moment.

"Is that all?" The doctor asked seemingly worried.

"Yes, I think that's exactly what the Illusive Man told me over the-" _the __god-damn phone! This is not happening!_ "I mean, yes, that's all."

The old Doctor gave an 'I-told-you-so' look over at the brunette, who scrunched her face into a frown and scoffed.

"Well, it's not like he was lying!" She shouted, sporting a look that was dangerously close to pouting.

"Oh, face it Miranda, the poor girl's been duped."

"Yeah, I think I was." The redhead confirmed wide-eyed, incredulous of her situation. She assumed the term 'poor girl' was directed at her. "So I'm going to be the Commander's-"

"Personal Assistant, just as your contract says. You'll be following her virtually everywhere to keep her in line and help her in any ways you can." Miranda finished for her, the finality in her tone crushing.

"But you said she was capable of doing everything on her own!" Kelly turned frantically to the Doctor who merely shrugged in response.

"She is capable of doing everything, _and anything_ on her own. Let us say she was in the shower alone and suddenly gets curious how it would feel to have her body covered in boiling hot water. If she gets such an idea for even a second her body would do it before her mind can even register what she has done. She needs someone to look after her."

"You mean I have to _wash _her too?" _Please say no._

"I would say so. Who knows what she'll do." _Damn it! _"It's a good thing she likes you, or else she would have slapped you the moment you met. Or worse!"

That was when Shepard jumped out of her chair to dizzily walk over and hug the Yeoman.

"Yeah, I like you lots, Chambers. You taste nice." was all she said before she began licking the distraught Yeoman once more.

All the redhead could do right there and then was to sit and let her face be licked as she contemplated her fate.

_Well, at least she isn't biting_ _me_. She thought for a moment before instantly regretting it.

The canines that sunk into her flesh felt rather benign compared to events she felt was coming for her in the next few months.

* * *

**There you have it.**

**I have to say the second half felt a bit rushed for me (as it does with everything else I write) but as I always believed, its better to let someone else look at it now and judge rather than me constantly fixing every little thing and never get it right.**

**Thank you for taking the time to read and enjoy my story. Please give a constructive review if you have the time, or just say you liked my story if you don't. Because it would mean the world to me.**

**Thank you in advance,  
Worms100**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone!**

**First of all I must apologize for the enormous time took to release this chapter. I was previously planning on releasing this at the end of JULY but life didn't seem to like me that much and decided to put me down for awhile. **

**This was also when I finished Mass effect 3 again and o****h man... Just... that ENDING... Extended Cut helped but not that much once I began thinking again.**

**It managed to make me angry every time I do anything mass effect related and I simply couldn't write this for awhile. But I think I'm okay now and all plot bunnies are threatening to over run my mind. So I apologize once more for the long absence and here is the next Chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

******Slight Update(5th of Sept): Just today, 3 days after publishing this, I realized I posted the older version of the chapter. There's nothing different about the story. Just some slight, miniscule fix in grammar.  
**

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**Chapter 2**

"How may I help you Commander?"

"Is there anything I should know?"

"Nothing right now. Is there anything else, Commander?"

"That'll be all."

"Good luck out there Shepard."

Now wasn't that nice? Wasn't this plain, boring, slightly flirtatious conversation so much more pleasant for everyone involved? Apparently not, because Yeoman Kelly Chambers was a sick masochist who took pleasure in hearing her Commander say things like:

_"Chambers, your credit chit tastes like strawberry jam."_

_Well, yes, it would after you poured three jars of it all over the desk! Where the hell did you even get them anyhow? Strawberry jams don't even get supplied to the Normandy!_

The redhead sighed heavily in hopes of releasing _some _of the mountainous pile of stress she had built up, before turning towards the mentally unstable blonde sitting on the bed once more. The Commander had been going at her pillow for awhile now, chewing on the soft fabric with an abnormally determined look that one would expect from a martial artist in the height of battle(better she chew a pillow than her underwear though.), while the Yeoman quietly unpacked her belongings on the couch. Kelly had been giving nervous glance at the Commander ever since she took her first bite at the cushion. She had to make sure Shepard did not show any signs of interest doing anything else around the room. The last time Kelly left her alone the blonde began screeching like a harpy and threw a biotic warp at the sound system/alarm clock for no particular reason than the fact that it glowed.

To say that Kelly was getting used to Shepard's behavior was like saying a stick of cheese with a purple cape began dancing and singing trying to get people to eat it: It was weird, implausible and just downright impossible.

The last two hours for her had been hectic, and she was afraid that it was not going to be the worst two hours of her life, despite being one so far.

Two hours ago, after stopping the blonde from reenacting the scene from a classic zombie movie and biting a whole chunk out of her neck, the redhead was ordered by the XO to move in with the Commander as her live-in nurse(Well, officially she was her 'personal assistant' but at this point the two were basically the same thing). The redhead had reluctantly walked to the sleeping quarters to pack her belongings, forgetting the fact that the whole CIC, _and _the people at the Crew's Quarters (which was, all hail her mighty luck, e_very single_ crewmember due to it being dinner time) had seen the 'licking incident.'

The moment she stepped outside the Medical wing it was as though someone accidently fired the Cain in the dining hall. She was simply _bombarded_ by questions from the curious crew. And the things they asked were... less than sane.

_"Chambers, are you shagging the Commander?"_

_"You whore! You're using the Commander to get better accommodation!"_

_"It's okay if you're going to be the Commander's sex slave, Kelly! We'll be there for you when you need our emotional support."_

_"Is it true that the Commander is an alien who can impregnate you with her foot? *GASP!* Are YOU pregnant with Shepard's baby, Kelly?"_

Where do they even get these ideas, and in such short time? They were just... _weird_ more than offensive. How could they even think that any of them made any sense? Now Kelly couldn't walk around the ship anymore without having at least one person come up to her to either question, insult or, the worst of them all, try and console her about her predicament of being the Commander's personal sex slave.

Why did every rumor have to be sexual in nature anyway? Was this the kind of image she had on everyone? Not the cheerful, kind lady full of smiles that everyone would like to be friends with, but some sort of vile skank of a woman who would use her body to get what she wants? She did like to flirt time to time but that didn't mean she would put herself out like some cheap whore on Omega.

Now, she hated to admit this but, if Shepard hadn't been there with her licking her face when she walked out there probably would have been a lot more questions than there was. So much so that Kelly probably would have drowned in the flash flood of questions. She had forgotten that the crew was scared of the notorious Cerberus killer as much as the Yeoman did before she met Shepard in person. If there was any bright side to her day so far, it was watching many of her annoyingly nosy crewmates wear a pale, haunted look whenever the Commander was in their sight.

That, of course, didn't mean she instantly liked having Shepard hanging around her. No, she'd have to be completely insane to say that she enjoyed Shepard's strange attention. She didn't think anyone would want to have to drag around a six feet two, fully grown woman who laps at their skin like they're made of chocolate in public.

The Yeoman grabbed another shirt to fold but then dropped her hands for a moment to sigh inwardly once more.

She knew she had to stop feeling like this. She couldn't be annoyed by the blonde forever. Shepard did have a mental condition, after all. And she was her psychologist, no less. She couldn't let her feelings cloud her judgment, ever. She had to imagine and try to understand all the pain the Commander must be suffering right now. The woman didn't even have the remote concept of self-control remaining in her system. Think of the horrors she must be going through, losing all control of her body all the time, not knowing when she'll do something potentially harmful to herself and others. She was her Personal Assistant now, her caretaker. She had to understand her pain, and try and ease them whenever she could. She needed to have a Friendly demeanor, give Love and Support, and all the rest of the sweetness in life Shepard may need.

"Chaaaabaaarsss." The oddly elongated call grabbed Kelly's attention.

Okay, here we go. Friendly demeanor. Love and Support. If she does anything weird she doesn't mean anything by it, she just can't help herself.

"Yes, Commander? How can I help you?" The Yeoman dropped the shirt in her hands down on to the couch and turned to the blonde and somehow managed to pull off a genuine smile. This miracle was short lived as Kelly's expression contorted into one of horror when she saw what Shepard had been doing.

"Oh my god, Commander, stop! You can't eat that!" She blurted out, quickly running over to the blonde who had been stuffing her mouth with the bed sheet. From the look of it she seemed to have already swallowed some parts.

Suppressing an appalled irk, Kelly sat next to the woman and carefully pulled at the sheet, proving her suspicion correct when the sheets slowly came out the Commander's throat covered in thick mucus.

When the entire sheet had come out Kelly gave a small frown at the smiling woman before her.

"Shepard what were you trying to do?" She scorned the woman as she would a child. "Do you know how dangerous that was?"

Shepard's reply after a long pause was a small smile and a hug, which Kelly couldn't help but return with a resigned sigh. She then sighed again when she felt slow, wet licks on her neck where Shepard has buried her face in.

_Okay, Chambers, come on. __Friendly demeanor. Love and Support._

"Chambers, you taste really nice. You know what would make you even better? STRAWBERRY JAM!"

_Oh god, this was going to be a long day._

* * *

Miranda was not in a good mood that day, and talking to The Illusive Man, it seemed, only made the matters worse. The XO was reporting to the middle aged man about the mentally unsound Commander's recent decision on the main priorities of their mission which was, to say the least, not the slightest bit viable in terms of practice.

_"I want a krogan!"_ Shepard's flamboyant announcement before she ran over to latch herself at the Yeoman echoed in her mind in a form of a monster migraine.

She could not believe that woman. She remembered advising her, time and time again, that the salarian was the better choice of operatives to recruit first. Dr Solus was the one who was intelligent enough to make a counteragent for the Seeker Swarms in the shortest amount of time. And the other two recruits, Archangel and Zaeed Massani, were both on the same space station, Omega. It was obviously the most logical choice in this time deficient mission of theirs.

But nope, who cares if another two or three colony is hit and a thousand more disappear to have god knows what be done to them? Shepard wanted a krogan. Screw logical decision in the rear, they were going to Korlus.

What was worse was that when she reported this fact to the Illusive Man, the man who personified the term 'brutally logical,' simply asked her to _'have faith in the Commander's decision, even if it may seem strategically unwise.'_ Strategically unwise? Bloody retarded was more like it. Has everyone in the world gone completely mad? They were trying to save the human race, not have a game of 'follow the king' with a mentally ill soldier.

_'Logical.' Maybe that's the problem._ Miranda scoffed while gently massaging her forehead. _I should have told her Dr Solus breathes out ponies from his mouth and shoots rainbows from his nostrils while he dances to Tiny Tim. That would have gotten her attention._

In all truth, though, the Commander's disorder had been foreseen by the Lazarus Cell even before the Project began. The damage to the brain was quite obvious when it was recovered and most did not believe that the Galactic hero could be recovered, or at least be recovered to a point where she was able to do her usual 'saving the world' act. When the project was green lighted (or Cerberus term for 'you-do-this-or-you-die') the team had prepared for the worst. And while the symptoms the Commander displayed were nowhere near the very worst they prepared for, it wouldn't be a lie if Miranda said she was expecting something less... erratic.

_But nothing's going right these days. _The brunette thought with a sigh, _I guess I should be satisfied with the fact that the Commander is at least self-capable._

"Whoa! Commander, what are you doing with that? Put that down!"

"Oh my god, run!"

_"Armed personnel on deck. All crew evacuate the CIC area. A lockdown is in effect."_

_... Or maybe I should consider killing that woman again and see if I can rebuild her better. It'll be like a Lego set._

At that moment everything went to hell.

It began with a loud crash, followed by an extreme turbulence. The normal white lights of the Communications room switched to dark red, signaling emergency.

_"Live fire on CIC main deck. A hull breach is imminent. All personnel evacuate the CIC area immediately."_EDI's melodic voice took an urgent tone as it echoed out the speakers.

Having tripped on to the floor from the turbulence, Miranda quickly balanced herself and rushed out from the Comm room, towards the CIC. Or she would have, if the Armory door wasn't locked. _Right, the lockdown._

"EDI, what is happening?" She yelled at the AI.

_"The Commander has equipped herself with a grenade launcher and proceeded to fire on to the left wing of the CIC main deck."_ EDI explained ever so calmly, despite the horrified look on the XO's face.

"WHAT! Why?"

_"I cannot be certain. According to my surveillance, Shepard came up from her private quarters and immediately entered the armory without any oth-"_

The AI was cut off by another explosion, followed up by a devastating amount of turbulence.

_"Hull breech on the CIC deck. Raising kinetic barrier to contain air pressure. Shield capacity at hundr-"_

Explosion. Turbulence.

_"-eighty nine percent. Beginning shield recharge."_

The XO was struck speechless, but managed to straighten herself out quick enough to ask, "Where is Chambers? Is she there with her?"

_"Ms Chambers is inside the Captain's Cabin. I have already alerted her of the situation, though she has yet to respond. It is likely that she has sustained injury during the turbulence caused by the explosion."_

"Lovely." Miranda muttered._Why is this happening to me?_ "Open this door and send word for Dr Chakwas to send the Commander's medication up here. Also, try and get Chambers up to the CIC deck as soon as possible. I want some explanation for this."

_"Understood. Unlocking armory doors."_

With a silent beep, the red control panel of the door momentarily turned green before disappearing. The door opened and revealed the CIC, and to be honest, Miranda was lost for words at what she saw.

The hull breech was unusually large. A large section of the port side wall was gone, giving a clear view of the deep space outside. Wires and parts stuck out like thorns, sparks spraying about like a fountain. The room was dyed in red under the emergency light and the blue glow of the kinetic barrier around the hull breech contrasted rather awkwardly. The corridor to the cockpit was shut with the red holopad hovering over it to indicate its locked state. All in all, the place was an absolute mess.

But that's not what surprised Miranda. No, she was a professional who's been through hell and back and honestly, this was no worse than what she's faced a hundred times before. What _did_ surprise her at the moment was the fact that Shepard was standing before the barrier _crying _like a little girl and.._._

_Okay, wait..._

_Why the hell isn't she wearing any pants?_

Alright, now the XO wasn't so much as surprised as she was confused. She initially thought Shepard ran away from Chambers and decided to blow up the bloody ship; an action made by her random impulses. But she was _crying __without her__ pants. _There was just something very wrong in that phrase (besides the whole 'crying with no pants' thing)

_The Great Commander Shepard, savior of the Citadel, and the Galaxy. While crying away like a little girl who lost her balloon, she blasts away her enemies with her semi-nudity._

_Oh god, _Miranda thought fearfully. _Am I high? I definitely don't remember doing anything illegal. Maybe it was that damn pervert, Donnelly. Did he spike that drink he handed me at dinner? I swear to god when I meet that man again I'll-_

The brunette's internal rant was cut off when Shepard fired another three rounds of explosives at the glowing barrier, the resulting shockwave forcing Miranda to take cover behind the CIC desk. At that exact same moment the elevator door opened, and through it came out Yeoman Chambers without her pants.

_Okay that's it then. I'm high. _Miranda gave up. _No doubt about it. Unless it's the Normady's official 'no-pants day,' I'm definitely high on something._

"Oh my god. What the hell is she doing?" The Yeoman asked her in panic as she scrambled to cover next to the XO.

"Oh I don't know." Miranda gave an unstable laugh, her face an unnatural hybrid of a crazed smile and wrathful frown. "How about _you_ tell me what the hell _I'm_doing in real life? Am I on my bed? Am I sprawling over the Comm Room with the Illusive Man looking at me with his poker face? He probably wouldn't even bother to call a medical staff. Who cares if that _bitch_ Miranda is on the floor all drugged up, right? He'll just sit there sipping at his _bloody_ cigarette that never burns the _fuck_ out because it's made by WILLY-BLOODY-WONKA!"

"What are you talking about? Why are you yelling?" Kelly asked in obvious confusion.

"Why am I yelling? _WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU WEARING ANY PANTS?_" she roared, her urge to shake the woman before her barely suppressed.

"It's the Commander's fault!" The Yeoman yelled back defensively. Though the red lights of the CIC made it impossible to tell, the XO was certain that she was blushing. "She had to god damn ... Look it's none of your business!"

"Chambers, there's a hole in the CIC and we're going to get spaced if we don't stop that woman soon. And instead of running at a trigger happy woman holding a _grenade launcher_ head on like a jackass, I would like to have a solution in mind that I know will work. Now tell me what you said to her that made her react like this!"

"What did _I _say to _her?_" Kelly was appalled at the accusation. "She's the one who...! Look, all _I _said to _her _was-"

"She called me fat!" Shepard wailed out at the two, effectively stopping the Yeoman who gaped at her in disbelief. "She called me fat and ugly!"

Miranda looked at the Commander, then back at the redhead with a frown, "Chambers, why the hell would you call her that?"

"I didn't! She's making it up!" Kelly blurted out, finding it rather difficult to form words as her anger began getting the better of her.

"She called me fat, ugly, and then she called me flat! I'm not flat you big dummie! Mine are size bigger than yours!"

"No they're not!"

"Chambers!"

"I did _not _call her any of that! She's the one who..."

"She what?"

"Look, I didn't do anything to hurt Shepard's feeling okay?"

"Then why is she crying?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I'm the one who wants to cry here!"

"Oh for the love of-Duck!"

"Whoa!"

Miranda brought the Yeoman down to the floor just as the large debris from the ship flew over their head, then watched as the debris embed itself into the elevator door.

"Well, there goes the medical team idea." She muttered, then turned to the redhead and continued in a calm voice. "Chambers, there are no other help coming. If you want to live to see tomorrow again, I need you to tell me everything that has happened, right now."

Kelly, who looked catatonic from the near death experience, nodded frantically. "O-okay, alright. I'll tell you." she shook. "I'll tell you. Just... let me... let me calm down a bit."

Miranda nodded, knowing that pushing the girl would only slow her down.

Kelly took several deep breathes, her hands laid over her racing heart. After a moment the Yeoman seemed to get her bearings and finally began telling her story.

"It all began when the Commander ate my underwear..."

* * *

**Aaaaand I'm going to cut off there with a cliffhanger... sort of... not really... More like a WTF-hanger.**

**I was actually planning on going to Omega or Korlus in Chapter 3 but I guess that has to wait for chapter 4.**

**Well, I must also apologize for the lack of plot advancement in this chapter despite its lateness but I wanted to develop Kelly and Shepard's relationship a bit before I went on with the main plot of Mass Effect 2. And if there are any mistakes or if anything feels rushed in the chapter it is because I lack focus due to it being my mid-sem exam period (because my troll brain only ever wants to write when I have tons of assignments and exams only days away)_  
_**

**I'll try and update before around the 3rd of October if possible so please stay tuned! **

**My deepest apologies again, for the lateness, and thank you for reading,  
****WhiteWorms100**

**P.S. Shepard is six feet two in this fic(that's 188cm!) simply because my mind won't let me imagine otherwise.**

**P.P.S. Dr Mordin Solus now breathes ponies from his mouth and shoots rainbows from his nostrils while he dances to Tiny Tim. Because he is awesome like that.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello!**

**This is obviously another Chapter!**

**And it's only a day late! Haha-hahahahaha..haha..ha...ha...**

**...**

**My fellow readers I sincerely apologize for being late in this release and I hope you could forgive me from the bottom of your heart.**

**Anyways, PLEASE leave a Review if you have the time. It would mean the world to me if you just took a moment to say what you liked about this chapter, maybe point out some errors, maybe a better way to write things. They would all help me out very much.**

**But mostly, ENJOY THE STORY!**

**If you really enjoy the story, that would make me a thousand times more happier than getting a review. **

**So please, Enjoy the story, leave a review if you can, and I hope you enjoy reading this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Context was everything, or so Kelly had been taught over the years. One couldn't just simply take a person's statement and suddenly have a full insight on a situation. It could lead to misunderstanding, mental fatigue and eventually physical fatigue.

Unlike how Miranda interpreted her statement, the underwear eating wasn't even remotely related to the reasons behind Shepard's action. The Yeoman had stated as the starting point because everything that happened after will lead to the main cause, but the panty eating was just that: a starting point.

Yes, Kelly thought shaking her head with a knowing frown. If she had to point out the specific 'starting point' like the one Miranda had in her mind, to state the main _cause_ of Shepard's current emotional state, she would have to say it was because of the kiss she and Shepard shared.

But that was out of context.

And there was no way she was going to say that phrase out loud, especially not to Miranda.

So she was going to rewind the story just a bit so that there were no misunderstandings. To give the XO enough contexts so that she could listen to the full story without asking her extra, unnecessary questions. And the panty-eating situation seemed to be the perfect place to start.

Because _that_ wasn't out of context.

That happened exactly as she said it.

* * *

_Well, okay, it wasn't _exactly_ as she said it._

_Shepard didn't shove the Yeoman's underwear down her throat like the cookie monster. That would be impossible for someone of Shepard's physique, or for any normal person for that matter. No, what Shepard did do was: grab Kelly's underwear from her luggage, shred the garment with a biotic warp, drown each piece in strawberry jam and _then_ shoved them down her throat like the cookie monster. She was smiling like the cookie monster as well: Eyes wide open, mouth in the form of perfect capital D rotated clockwise 90 degrees._

_But that truly was all there was to it. There was no provocation, sign or warning. It came completely out of the blue and was absolutely uncalled for. This was probably why the Yeoman had been so dumb struck and didn't so much as blink in response when Shepard plopped down next to her down on the couch, licking the strawberry jam off her fingers as she turned to smile at her. Remembering it now, it was a smile that foreshadowed a disasters scale of Sovereign's attack on the Citadel._

_"What do you do on the Normandy, Chambers?"_

_The question had caught the Yeoman off guard as much as the undergarment eating did, not only because Kelly had been in a minor shell-shocked state and the question came out of the blue, but also due to the fact that Shepard had asked a question about _another person_. _

_Kelly honestly thought Shepard didn't have the slightest interest in interacting with other people. From her behavior, Kelly believed that the Commander regarded others with no more acknowledgement than she did for the ground under her foot, or the ceiling above her head, something she took for granted as just... _being _there. But she just asked the Yeoman a question, about _her_ no less. Shepard was showing an interest in her not as something she could have a lick at every now and then for her own pleasure but as a _person_. _

_Kelly wasn't sure whether to be glad at the new sign of Shepard's normal social activity or horrified at the new level of interest Shepard has developed on her. She didn't want end up being shredded and doused in jam as Shepard's weird snack like her underwear did. She liked to have all of her limbs intact and _not_ end up inside another human's stomach thank you very much._

_With a skeptical frown Kelly gave a slightly stuttering response, "Well, uhh, I'm the Yeoman of the ship. I'm in charge of sorting your messages and relaying requests from the crew to you."_

_"Wait," Shepard placed a finger on her lips as though in deep thought. "Isn't that sort of thing better suited for a VI?"_

_"Well yes, but that's just my _official _role," Kelly replied hurriedly, if not a tad bit defensive. "Unofficially I observe the crew. Everyone knows how risky our mission is. Many of us might not come back. That's a lot of pressure. I have a degree in psychology and I'm good at uhh... 'sensing' when people are overly taxed."_

_"Wow, you're a psychologist! You're so cool!" Shepard exclaimed with an excited gleam, making the Yeoman blink in surprise._

_"Oh, umm... Thank you, Commander." Kelly blushed at the sudden compliment. She had to admit this whole situation wasn't so bad. They were actually having a normal conversation. About time, she guessed. Shepard couldn't run around being psychotic _all _the time._

_"But then shouldn't you be called Dr Chambers? Not a Yeoman?" Shepard asked._

_Kelly shook her head. "No, not really. I don't have a doctrine yet. Never got around to it, you see. All I've ever done in my life are desk jobs, even before I was transferred here. You know, like what I'm doing right now. I guess I'm better suited to be a secretary, huh? Dr Chambers sound a bit weird to me."_

_There was a small pause from Shepard that slipped past the Yeoman's attention. "Wait, you were transferred here?" _

_"Yes, of course." Kelly replied casually, not noticing the storm cloud forming over the Commander's face._

_"You mean you were working for Cerberus in the past as well?" _

_Kelly blinked. The sudden blades of ice slicing through Shepard's tone abruptly pulled her out of her lax state and made her sit up straight and turn to the Commander face to face. Looking at her now, all playfulness seemed to have dissipated from Shepard's face like steam into thin air. For the first time since meeting her Kelly was being subjected to something other than Shepard's affectionate smile: Something darker, harsher; something simply brutal._

_Shepard's face had lost all its trace of childish glee, replaced by indifference so solid and cold that it could cut through diamonds and take out the sun. The emerald eyes that twinkled in constant excitement were now like a blizzard blowing on her naked skin. If not for her rational mind, Kelly could have sworn a cloud of deadly storm swirled above Shepard's head, seconds away from striking the redhead's brows off with a miniature lightning strike._

_Suddenly, the Yeoman's heart skipped a beat. A frozen chill ran down her spine as she was reminded who this woman was. She was Commander Shepard, the ruthless butcher of Torfan, annihilator of the geth, the killer of Reapers, and most importantly, the slaughterer of Cerberus. It was stupid of Kelly to have forgotten these facts even for a second. All the fear that brooded inside the Yeoman's heart before meeting the Commander came back to her, and Kelly found it difficult to remain seated under the solid emerald gaze._

_Kelly quickly broke her eye contact with the blonde and turned to the floor as her mind reeled at the unexpected change in mood. _

_What the hell just happened?_ _The redhead panicked. What was with the sudden mood swing? Did something happen? Did she say something wrong? _

_Then it hit her. All those dossiers she read on Shepard's profile. She had so many run-ins with xenophobic terrorists working under Cerberus' name in the past. She must be thinking that Kelly had been working with them in the past as well. _

And I just gave her a straight up answer saying that I did. Genius!

_"Umm, yes, I, uh, began working for them straight out of college. But Commander that was-" Kelly managed to stutter out but couldn't help up shriek when Shepard cut her off faster than a guillotine._

_"Then do you enjoy working with Cerberus?" Despite the murderously stoic expression, Shepard's voice carried the tone of a curious child. It gave the Yeoman goosebumps just listening to it._

_"Well, what's not to enjoy?" Kelly replied shakily, trying to lighten the suddenly tense atmosphere with the casual phrase. This (obviously) had the opposite effect and Kelly suddenly found herself being crushed by the amount of menace that seeped out from the Commander. _

Well done Chambers, _she said to herself. _You might as well have waved a flag that said 'I love killing Aliens and torturing others under illegal experiments!'

_"I think I know what you're getting at." Kelly began strongly despite her fears, her emerald eyes meeting with Shepard's own. "I know you don't like Cerberus for their dark reputation Commander, but I assure you, Cerberus is not the evil xenophobic extremist you know. Cerberus has noble goals: We look out for human interests. Advance human technologies. Save human lives. They're good goals, even you have to admit that." She stated, then quickly added before Shepard could speak. "And before you ask: No. Cerberus does not hate aliens, they're just looking out for humanity. My sister runs a dog shelter, but that doesn't mean she hates cats. Cerberus has their ideals focused on humans, but that doesn't mean they will actively seek out other aliens to kill. I love humanity. And I love asari, turian, krogan, salarian and all others as well. Just because we say one thing it doesn't imply the other. We're not the bad guys, Shepard. You can trust us."_

_Kelly would have pet herself on the back if she wasn't frozen in absolute terror. She was surprised she had said all that without stumbling on a single word. She didn't even know what she said. Every little brain cells inside her head had gone completely mad under Shepard's gaze, screaming, ripping their hairs off (not real hair, but... just imagine them as a flock of miniature Kellys that live inside her head) in utter panic. It was a miracle that she could even formulate a single word, much less a coherent speech._

_Whatever she did to manage it, her effort seemed to pay off as the blonde's viciously impassive expression melted into a shy pout, her face blooming pink. "I can trust you?" Shepard spoke like a scolded child and Kelly could not help but smile._

_"Of course you can, Commander." Kelly cooed, "You're the Commander of this ship, and we're its crew, _your_ crew. If there's anyone who you can trust, it's us."_

_"Do you trust _me_ then?" Shepard asked earnestly, like a child in need of comfort._

_"Yes, of course." Kelly smiled, her nerves now calm once more._

_"Really?" Hopeful green eyes sparkled like diamonds._

_"Yes," she repeated, bringing up her hands to gently caress the Commander's cheek. "I trust you Commander. I trust you implicitly. You are Commander Shepard, savior of the Galaxy and the icon of humanity the world could look up to. You are the best humanity has to offer, and proudly so. You might not be in the healthiest or the sanest condition right now, but that's okay. Because I know, when I close my eyes and fall back, you'll be there to catch me, safe and sound."_

_If any word could describe the emotion Shepard seemed to be glowing with right then, it was 'touched.' Silently, the larger woman pulled the Yeoman into a deep embrace. Kelly could have patted herself on the back if she could again, but for now, she opted with patting Shepard's back. She was on a bloody roll with these mini-speeches._

_Everything was looking pretty good for Kelly Chambers right now. She was quickly coming on good terms with the Commander. Maybe a bit more and they might become friends, maybe even best-friends. And then the blonde might listen to her a bit better. And even if she didn't, the redhead was finally having some positive views on her situation. This whole, roommate/live-in-nurse thing, it could be like a really long slumber party: watching movies in bed, chatting all night, giggling away like silly little girls. _

_Yeah. Things were looking up, and honestly, Kelly was feeling pretty g-"I might do more than catch you, Kelly."-ood..._

_..._

_..._

_Uhh... _

_What?_

_A several silent seconds passed, and finally Kelly lightly pushed the blonde away just far enough so that they can see each other's face. "What?" She said to the taller woman._

_"When you fall," Shepard smiled at her rather... uhh... _seductively_... "I might do more than catch you. **Kelly**."_

_The last word was spoken with so much lust and desire it would have made Aphrodite blush with shame. At the same moment, the tall blonde pushed the redhead down on to the couch and crashed on top of her. _

_And with one swift movement their lips were mashed together._

Oh my god. _Was what went past Kelly's mind_, _shortly followed by, _ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod .

She's kissing me.

She's **kissing **me.

The Commander's kissing me and wow, she's a great kisser.

I mean, no! This is Sexual Harrassi... Sexual harra... harol... whatever! Get her off me! I need to get her off!

_The young Yeoman attempted to free herself from the Commander but struggled to push the obviously much larger and heavier woman off. Only when she felt Shepard's hands slide down her body below the waist and her fingers hooked around the lines of her pants did the redhead find the sudden burst of strength to throw the blonde off to the side. Shepard, having her fingers hooked onto the Yeoman's pants, managed to slip the garment off the redhead on her way down before hitting the back of her head against the coffee table, and then finally landing on the floor with a heavy thud. While the impact with the coffee table wasn't enough to knock the blonde out, it certainly put her into a world of hurt. And it showed from her silent expression of eye-bulging shock. This, though, went unnoticed by the redhead who stared slack-jawed at the wall with her face flushed red, trying to wrap her head around what had just transpired, as she tried to calm her beating heart and heavy breathing. _

_Of the two women Shepard was the one to recover first and stand up._

_"What did you do that for?!" the blonde screamed with tears in her eyes, her hand massaging at the fresh bump behind her head._

_Kelly, who was still staring at the wall, finally turned to Shepard with an angry glare and shouted back, "You kissed me!"_

_"But you pushed me off!" Shepard retorted._

_"Yeah, because you _kissed_ me!" Kelly screamed again. "_And_ you took off my pants!" She couldn't believe what just happened and saying it out loud just seemed to make it more surreal. _

_"I thought you wanted me?" Shepard said and Kelly wanted to slap herself on the forehead._

_"_No_, I _don't!_ Where the hell did you even get the idea?"_

_At Kelly's answer, Shepard stumbled back, as if the words had physically struck her. But then her resolve seemed to renew and the blonde struck a seductive pose before speaking in an equally alluring voice._

_"Come on, Kelly."_

_..._

_..._

_Hmm. It was an awkward moment for Kelly because the grossly smug look on the Commander's face seemed to indicate that the woman expected that one phrase to somehow change this whole situation._

_Hmm. Yes, not gonna happen._

_"Uhh... How about: _**NO.**_" Kelly snapped back._

_The answer seemed to downright shock the blonde as she suddenly appeared incredibly confused, like a lost child who had just been told her parents ate all the candy she collected from trick-or-treating and all she had left to eat that morning was a tomato. _

_"But wait," the confused Shepard said. "I'm Commander Shepard."_

_"Yeah?" Kelly nodded, her arms crossed over her nether-regions, wishing she had her pants back from the blonde._

_"And you're my Love Interest." She continued, and Kelly groaned loudly at the use of the term but snapped back angrily nonetheless._

_"What about it?!"_

_"And I just used my Ultimate Pick-Up Line."_

_"_THAT'S _your Ultimate Pick-Up Line?!" the redhead's jaw dropped._

_"Well it worked pretty well with Liara and everyone else!" The blonde replied defensively._

_"Commander, I don't know _what _kind of people you've been around in the past, but I assure you, you can't pick up most girls by simply saying 'Come on.' And that includes me as well."_

_"Does that mean you won't sleep with me?" Shepard croaked, the redhead's rejection finally dawning on her._

_"No." Kelly said with finality, effectively ending this line of conversation._

_To say that Shepard took the rejection badly would be an understatement of the criminal level. To the Yeoman's shock the Commander began wailing like a child. It was an odd scene seeing a fully grown crying so openly. But overall the crying itself wasn't the bad part._

_It was the biotics._

_Shepard simply went on a rampage. It was like something out of a supernatural horror movie. In midst of her crying, Shepard, without any warning began throwing biotic warp at just about everything inside the room. Everything was blowing up all of the sudden and Kelly was helpless against it all and was forced to protect herself. And the best she could do as the blonde's attack became more and more vicious was to crouch in the small space between the couch and the coffee table. _

_Only when virtually every single thing in the Captain's Cabin was destroyed did the Commander stop. And before Kelly could even blink the blonde had ran off, the Yeoman's pants in hand, crying all the way, leaving Kelly to stare at the annihilated room, scared and pant-less._

* * *

"...I wanted follow her but she broke the wardrobe control panel, _and_ she destroyed all of the clothes that I brought, and I was _not _coming up to the main deck without a god damn pants. But then EDI told me the ship was about to blow up so, here I am!" Kelly finished her story just in time for another round of turbulence and EDI's voice to announce: _"Shield at thirty-eight percent."_

It didn't take that long to tell the story, but the grenade launcher was eating away at the shield pretty quickly. Peeking out over the desk, the Yeoman observed the Commander cautiously, afraid that the blonde might turn to fire the weapon at her if she saw her. There was nothing different about the Commander currently. She was still crying like a kid, firing at the kinetic barrier with a grenade launcher.

"So it _was _your fault!" Miranda, who had finished listening and processing the story snapped at the redhead. "You're the one who caused this!"

"How is any of this _my _fault?!" Kelly bit back, briefly turning to the XO to glare at her before going back to observing the Commander again. Not like Shepard was going to go anywhere soon but you never know.

"_You _rejected her. _You _hurt her feelings and that's why she's acting like she is." Miranda growled, her tone becoming more biting after each word.

Kelly, though annoyed at the XO's words, couldn't deny the accusation. "Well, yeah, okay, I guess I _did_ hurt her feelings. But what was I supposed to do Miranda? Let Shepard have her way with me just to satisfy her need? Well, I'm sorry but I'm doing no such thing. I am better than that."

"Well, congratulation for having some dignity, Chambers. What good is it all if you're dead?" Miranda jabbed harshly before calming herself with a deep intake of breath. "Look, Chambers, I understand how you must feel, but this is a life and death situation we have here. You need to go and stop Shepard, you're the only one who can."

"But how," Kelly shook her head, "what can _I_ do?"

"Well, she's sad because you rejected her right?" The brunette said in a manner similar to a teacher talking to a mentally deficient student, making the Yeoman scowl in response. "So, go up to her and tell her you want her as well."

"You've got to be kidding. Why can't _you _go, Miss Genetically-Perfect?" Kelly remarked, earning herself a glare from the brunette.

"Look, we don't have time to bicker like this. Just go and seduce her or something; kiss her, do an erotic dance, hell you don't have a bloody pants on, give her a peek between you legs! Just stop her from shooting that gun. The shield can't take any more hits!"

For a moment the Yeoman glared hatefully at the XO who in returned stared back with a cold expression. The redhead didn't like this idea, obviously, and it didn't help to have the brunette before her advise her to basically sell her body. But the fact of the matter was that they were going to _die_ if someone didn't stop the Commander and that someone, unfortunately, was going to have to be her.

With a loud huff Kelly stood up. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she muttered to herself before calling out, "Commander!"

The blonde stopped her wails and turned to her, sniffling. Kelly slightly flinched when the gun was pointed at her but managed to maintain solid eye contact.

"Go away!" Shepard yelled angrily, making the redhead flinch again.

"You have to calm down, Commander. Put that gun down." Kelly held both of her palms up, hoping the gesture would set the blonde at ease a bit as she slowly approached her. Though it was very unlikely that it would.

"No! Never! I hate you! I'll hold on to this gun until the day I die!" The Commander cried stubbornly.

"But I love _you, _Commander." Kelly offered with a toothy, fake smile, speaking in a painfully robotic tone that made Miranda want to run up to the girl and slap her for trying. But then again, she _was_ a psychologist, not an actor. "I love you with all I've got."

For the briefest moment, Shepard seemed to stop at the Yeoman's words, looking at the redhead with surprise and joy. But it was almost immediately replaced by an angry frown and loud wailing, "No, you're lying! I know you're lying! You said you didn't want me!"

"But Command-aaahhh!" Kelly began but was forced to ducked down to the floor as Shepard fired again.

_"Shield at twelve percent. It is likely that the next strike will break the barrier completely. I advise you all to secure yourselves to prevent being ejected from the ship. The most recommended method is to stra-" _EDI went on, but the Yeoman drowned the message out.

She needed to focus on the job at hand. This whole mission they were on can only be accomplished by Shepard. And with the Collectors already at humanity's doorsteps, they couldn't spend another two years to rebuild the hero if she were to die again now. In fact, they might not even be able bring her back at all this time. Then humanity will fall under the hands of the Collector; Then the galaxy under the Reaper invasion. Shepard had to survive. Shepard needed to survive. The galaxy needed its savior. And Kelly was the only one who could save the savior now.

She could do it. She was Kelly Chambers: the Optimist, the pseudo psychologist. She already knew how Shepard's mind worked... probably. She just had to utilize her knowledge a bit.

She could do this.

Absolutely.

_Okay, _The Yeoman got up slowly. Her new-found resolve pushing her ever-so forward.

"Commander!" She called out again.

"I said go away!" Shepard repeated, "I never want to see you again! Ever!"

"You have to stop this Commander." She remained tall, her voice brimming with confidence.

"No! I'm going to destroy this ship, inside out! Everything will go kaboom!" Shepard yelled, waving her arms around elaborately as a demonstration, then turned towards the kinetic barrier and poised to fire. But the Yeoman did not even flinch.

"But we're going to die if you do. What good will it do you?" Kelly pressed on.

Shepard shook her head violently. "I don't know! I just want to do it! I want to do it, and I'm doing it!"

"Commander, listen to me." Kelly started calm, yet strong. "I know you're angry, and I know you're angry particularly at me. But I'm sorry Commander, I'm not going to kiss you or sleep with you or anything like that simply because you want me to." Kelly stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. "But that doesn't mean we never will."

The blonde, moments away from firing the grenade launcher, stopped midaction and turned to the Yeoman with a confused scowl. This time Kelly got her full attention.

_I can do this. _

With a boost of confidence Kelly gave herself a nod of approval and continued. "I'm not going to be your personal slave for you to do whatever you want with, Commander. I'm a person as well. I have things I want to do and don't want to do, and I don't want to sleep with you, or kiss you. But it doesn't mean I'll _never_ want to do those things with you either. But you don't know me yet, neither do I know you. So why don't we start as friends, Commander, start with something small? You're a good person. Even I can see that. So I'm willing to give you a chance. We start small, and maybe someday we'll become something more." The pair of piercing emerald orbs met with its match, shocking the latter with a jolt of energy. "So, how about it? Shepard."

Everything in the CIC came to a halt and all that was happening was the blonde and the redhead gazing into each other's eyes. Shepard watched the Yeoman with awe. She felt her cheek flush as the redhead's words repeated itself inside her head, and her heart knocked at her chest harder than any of the adrenaline fueled battle made it run. No one had spoken to her like that, with such confidence and assurance. This small woman whom she thought was just another helpless girl whom she would have so much fun teasing and playing with now seemed so strong.

She seemed so cool.

"Well?" Kelly spoke with a playful smirk and Shepard couldn't help but gasp as she was knocked out of her trance.

With a happy giggle, Shepard brought down the weapon and walked away from the barrier, towards the young redhead. When the two were in front of each other, Shepard fidgeted for a moment, acting like a silly high school girl with a crush, then pulled the small woman into an embrace.

She whispered into her ear, "Okay, let's be friends, Chambers."

Kelly whispered back. "Please call me Kelly."

The blonde giggled. "Okay, Kelly."

As the two stood embracing each other Kelly let out a silent sigh of relief. She was actually kinda scared for a moment if this whole thing would work or not. It all seemed incredibly clique to her, but she was glad it worked ou-

*click*

Huh? What?

Kelly pulled away from the embrace a bit and her eyes almost popped out of their socket when she saw what the blonde she was hugging was doing.

"Shepard, what are you doing?" She asked fearfully.

Shepard gave an innocent, toothy smile and turned to the hull-breach, or more accurately the kinetic barrier, to aim the grenade launcher at it better. Then she turned back to the young woman in her arms momentarily to say before quickly turning back, "I still want to see what happens if I destroy that shield."

She then pulled the trigger, and Kelly screamed.

"Wait, NO!"

Too late.

The missile shot out the weapon with a loud, hollow _thunk, _and propelled towards the fragile barrier at an alarming rate.

Kelly wouldn't even have the time to scream before the explosion and the rush of air escaping into the vacuum of space drowned her out, but that didn't stop her from trying.

The loud explosion, the Yeoman's scream and the Commander manic laughter all erupted at the same time.

But unlike what the Yeoman had expected, there were no rush of air, or the freezing cold of the near absolute zero temperature of deep space outside. There was instead a loud wobble and a female voice muttering out a stream of curses.

"Miranda!" Kelly exclaimed at the limping figure who now stood before the hull breach with an odd mix of relief and worry. Pulling herself away from Shepard's arms, she ran to the XO and helped her sit down by the desk.

The brunette groaned in pain as she rubbed her forehead. "Damn it." She cursed. "That happened _way _too fast. Putting up a barrier that strong so suddenly is not good for my amps."

"You saved us!" Kelly rejoiced gleefully.

"No, we're just lucky." Miranda replied coolly as she pointing at something to the side. Kelly's jaw dropped when she followed Miranda's finger to find Shepard repeatedly pulling the trigger of the grenade launcher pointed at the kinetic barrier that was keeping them alive. Lucky for them, just as Miranda had stated, the weapon continuously hissed out steam from its sides and beeped, signaling the lack of heatsink. "Besides, you did pretty well too, Chambers."

"Oh, thanks." Kelly replied, feeling slightly awkward being complimented by the infamous Ice Queen. She was sure Miranda was feeling even more awkward seeing how she never complimented anyone before. She'd better change the subject now before things get uncomfortable. "What are we going to do about all this?" Kelly asked, looking at the large hull breach, then to the state of the CIC as a whole.

"Well, we need to fix it, obviously. The closest place where we could land to repair everything would be Omega. So we better set the course there." Miranda replied as calculative as ever.

"No, no, no!" Shepard suddenly popped in, jumping around in place like a bunny rabbit. "We have to get to Korlus! We need to have a Krogan on board!"

Kelly rolled her eyes. "Oh for god's sake Shepard, look at th-"

"Wait, Chambers. Let me handle this." Miranda interrupted, then turned to Shepard to continue, "Shepard could you lend me your ear for a second?"

The blonde, curious, did as she was told and knelt close to the XO where the brunette began whispering quietly into her ear.

As Kelly watched, Shepard's somewhat interested look slowly turned into the one of absolute surprise and excitement, and when Miranda was done, Shepard looked at the brunette like she couldn't believe what she had been told.

"Really?" The blonde spoke, her excitement barely hidden despite the pair of hands muffling her mouth.

When the XO nodded with a deadpan expression, the Commander hopped around in circle a few time before shouting out loud in a deep voice, "Joker, set the coordinates to Omega! Full speed ahead!"

_"Uhh, okay? So, you're not crazy anymore?" _The pilot's uncertain voice came through the speakers.

"No I'm not. Now, to Omega!" She ordered dismissively. Her eyes were twinkling as she looked on ahead into something that was clearly visible to her and her only. Though Kelly couldn't hear it properly she was sure that the blonde had muttered the words: _Dr Solus, rainbows, breathes ponies, dances, _and _Tiny Tim. _

When the redhead turned to Miranda to question her, the XO shook her head with a tired expression. "Don't ask."

And with that Kelly decided to drop the subject, and sat down next to the XO. She watched the Commander with a small smile, and wondered to herself about what she had said before.

_Friends._

_And maybe. _

_Something more._

* * *

**Extra**

**Miranda:** By the way, what happened to your pants?

**Kelly:** I told you, Shepard took it away.

**M**: Yeah but, where is it now? In fact, you never explained how Shepard lost her pants.

**K**: I uhh... actually don't know. I was sure she had her pants on before she ran out the Cabin.

**M**: Huh.

(Meanwhile, down in engineering)

**Kenneth:** Sweet crap, Gabby! I just saw two pair of trousers flying out in space.

**Gabby:** Kenneth, please don't, I'm trying to read.

**K**: But it's true! I swear I'm not lying! Just come and see!

**G**:Ugh, fine.

**K**: ...

**G**: ...There's nothing there.

**K**: But they were there! I saw them! They were two trousers, both women's as well. There are two women up there onboard without their pants on!

**G**: Kenneth, that's ridiculous. Even if some clothes were spaced, why would anyone walk around without their pants? We wear uniforms. We can just get another one from the wardrobe if we lose some.

**K**: But something might have happened. Something that caused them unable to get more clothes. They must be walking around up there now. No pants, just tops. Smooth, soft legs completely bare.

**G**: Kenneth, you're being gross again. I'm just going to go and read now, so you better find yourself something to do other than fantasizing before the elevator comes back online.

**K**: Wait, don't go Gabby. You have to believe me! Gabby!

(About an hour ago, before the lockdown. Down at Garbage Disposal.)

**Shepard:** Waaahhh! Stupid Chambers! I hate her! I hate her pants! I'm gonna send it out to space! In fact, I'm going to throw my pants out to space as well! That'll teach her! Somehow... Yeah! Space pants!

* * *

**Aaaand there we go! We're off to Omega meet our favourite scientist salarian!**

**Hope you enjoyed the story. It was a special long chapter, not because I intended it to be, but mostly because I have some assignments due in two days, and I just write so well when I have assessment due dates coming up. (TROLL BRAIN STRIKES AGAIN!)**

**I know lots of the stuff said in this chapter were REALLY clique and cheesy, but what can I say, I love clique cheesy stuff. So I hope you guys don't mind all them speeches about love and caring. **

**I also hope everything flowed well, because those are my main concern when writing stuff. And I hope I was able to convey the budding relationship between Shepard and Kelly properly.**

**Again, I really do hope you guys enjoy this story.**

**Please leave a Review if you have the time, it means the WORLD to me. Or follow or favourite if you want to, because they also mean a lot to me as well.**

**Anyway, this is getting long, so I'll cut it here. Hope you enjoyed it, the next update will be coming up within a month so until then I await your feedback.**

**Chiao~ :D**

**WhiteWorms100**


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